9/12/25

It's been a loooong time since I've updated or worked on my site, but my life has been crazy! So much has happened since, what, May? Some good things, some bad, and really a lot of stuff in between. It can become overwhelming for me, so I kinda just poofed. I'm doing good though all in all.

I guess first off I'll write about the "bad." Sadly one of our budgies had passed away a few months ago. This was Sam, our lone female of the flock. I bawled my eyes out when it had happened, and it really did happen out of no where (though I do have some sad suspicions). One day I just woke up and heard her fall on the bottom of the cage, and from that it seemed like she had suffered a head injury... :( Shortly after this had happened, we brought her to the vet, but sadly she passed away quite quickly. It was just so shocking to see it happen... I do have my suspicions of an underlying condition that we never fully saw, since for much of her little life she had some moments of "clumsyness," such as: when she would fly around the room and randomly miss a perch, or find herself in a funny location that I didn't know how she'd get there (under my blankets??).

All that being said, she was otherwise an amazing flyer, and a little gymnist too! The boys never really did much in comparison to her little antics. She loved to flip upside down, do sick hummingbird moves with a magnificent hover, and she just loved to fly! Even though she had clumsy moments I just wrote it off that she was being a little silly. :(

So, I still need to update the pet page with this, but I keep putting it off. :/ Eventually I'll make a memorial for her.

On the better side of things: Got a wicked tattoo!

The artist did a fantastic job! It's so gorgeous.

Otherwise I'm just living life in the UK. My husband and I have been house hunting in Liverpool, which is a tiring ordeal due to it being 4 hours-ish away haha... We have found a nice house right now, but we are torn on it at the moment. Might put in a very low offer and let fate decide for us.

But yeah, I'll post up if anything more progresses with that, but otherwise we're going to chill and wait until Winter.

Keep on keeping on! v-.-

12/05/25

As summer draws near and the sun comes out I feel myself much more energized lately and getting out of the depressive slumps. I've been cooking, cleaning, selling old things, and trying out some new stuff. I've ordered some polymer for cheap and I'm gonna try making some cute brooches and earrings for myself on down time.

And no sadly my story didn't get picked up by the press. XD I left a bad review on google for the taxi company and they kept calling my husband begging him to change it, but he told them politely "no" on my behalf. It's just gross how I was treated and it's such a fucking ick that women, and perhaps even other marginzalized people, might face the same shit that I do. Like what if a really old guy needed a lift and these fools scammed him in the same way? It's so predatory. Ick.

14/04/2025

Whew. I had such a bad experience with a taxi driver yesterday that I ended up writing to the local press about it.

It was kind of a "last straw" moment because it seems that taxis here are um... Trashy? Not really sure of a good way to say it. Half of the drivers I get arrive late, blast their phones on speaker with a stranger at the earliest hours of the day, and generaly make me feel uncomfortable. The driver I got yesterday was from a different company, and did all of the above but made sure to take a long creepy route to my destinaion (on a single lane road through the countryside wtf) that took over double the time I normally take to get there myself. I strongly believe he did it on purpose to get more money from me, seeing as I'm a woman riding alone. Like, what can I do?

So in the end he bullied me out of the money. My husband called the company to complain, but they've danced around it and offered pathetic compensation for that. Makes me wonder how many other women face this and it skeeves me.

12/04/2025

Tired after work and with a head cold, feel like a zombie. :[

All day I have all these thoughts on the world swirling in my head, but once the Tenzing wears I crash the hell out!

So I'll try to bring forth those thoughts here, so perhaps I can examine my own thoughts...

My problems living in the UK at the moment seem kinda mundane when I look at the news for my country of origin. Even though we're having car trouble (once AGAIN) and I'm dealing with the stress of saving money, I'm way more bothered and anxious about what's happening in the US right now.

Like, it's not even as much rooted in the fear for my family, as they are not minorities, and I do have family members that have more money to help them if needed (at least I tell myself that). My friends however, I do worry a little more for, but at the same time I know they are super resilient and I feel better knowing that they're in a part of Oregon that has stronger communities. Perhaps a lot of this is simply me coping, but I'd like to be hopeful.

But I don't know how to really explain what is troubling me the most... I feel like the way it's shifting so harshly to the right, it hurts my soul? Where I feel hope for the resilience of my loved ones, I feel pessimism for humanity... I see the darkness particularly in men online who spur this on. Everything Trump does is the manifestation of their darkness.

And no, I'm not meaning to make women sound blameless. Evangelist, Mormon, Trad, whatever, they throw everyone under the bus in the hopes it'll save them when truly it won't. Maybe they believe that if the earth burns then God will somehow redeem them, even though their hearts are as black as tar. What sort of god would value that..?

I look back at my past, and pre-social media as a kid, and I was definitely sheltered from the reality of the atrocities of the US, but still I felt so hopeful for the future. It really felt like the world was improving and we were on a better path. We were all guided to believe that we would live in peace, own a house, have a family, find some sense of worth in a capitalist society. When you age and the world sours, you open your eyes more to see how untrue that is, and you learn how rotten to the core it all was.

But there was a time where an entire generation was uplifted, so shouldn't I feel hope (if not for me, at least for the future gens)? Even after a devastating war, prosperity was found.

Will it be different this time? Climate change wasn't looming over our ancestor's heads, and nothing like social media ever existed. I see how "ipad babies" are developing so poorly, and I wonder how bad the damage will be in the long run.

Is it incorrect for me to be so cynical about all of this? Is there any hope?

I legit can't see humanity thriving unless the patriarchy and capitalism becomes a thing of the past. Selfishness is literally destroying us and the planet we dwell on...

Dark thoughts, but hey this journal is for me to put these thoughts into the void! Perhaps I will be proven wrong by the world and I can go back and read this and feel a sense of relief for being so wrong. Perhaps?